fiona was here
wishing she had a clever tagline

Those of you who know me remember me buying myself a car last fall. I did not like the car, at the time, although it has grown on me (like mould). The reason I did not like it was because it was (and still is) a Ford, which as we all know stands for "Fix or repair daily." But Tiffani-Amber (for that is the car's name) seemed like she was different, as though she wouldn't betray my trust by stalling incessantly or having bits of her fall off for no appreciable reason as any other Ford I've been exposed to has done, as though she was a Very Special Member of the Ford Family who had risen above her shoddy parenting in a most admirable way. But then it was all taken from and my trust in Tiff was shattered when her key refused to turn. She wouldn't turn for me even a little, although I coaxed and cajoled and spoke of love... she refused to relent and restore my delicate trust in her, as I sat sobbing quietly in the Ikea parking lot.

She is going to see her doctor this afternoon who will excise the affected part and replace it with a new one. He will use no anasthetic as I want her to suffer for betraying my trust. It'll never be the same between us again; we'll go places we went before and take the same people into our passenger seat but we'll just be going through the actions.

tagnorati: Ford, trust

Why does everything have to be a "national tragedy" these days? And why do we all have to get together and cry about it? What's the point of all this public grief? It's just another ploy for attention, like people who claim to have been traumatised by 9/11 when it really had no effect on thier lives other than they were looking for an excuse to wig out. Any horrible human tragedy and people are grabbing onto it's coat-tails in a desperate Bid for Attention. James Roszko's brother is perfect example of this: sending condolences was a nice thing to do and he should have done so and then shut up about it, because it's no longer a kind, caring gesture if you want everyone to know about it. It's just attention-seeking.


technorati tags: attention, jackasses

The longer you don't post for, the harder it is to post. Performance anxiety about being clever enough to compensate for all the silence kicks in.

I do not feel clever enough today so all I will say is: Prince Charles doesn't deserve to get married and live happily ever after. I'm glad Lizzie's being pissy about the matter. He should suffer for the rest of his life for being so selfish as to wantonly choose to marry a woman twelve years his junior (who was only twenty years old) and proceed to destroy her life. And arguments about his duty to procreate and populate the royal line are bollocks; discovering a woman his own age similarly equipped with a womb would not have necessitated a quest similar to the Holy Grail.

technorati tags: royalty, QueenElizabeth, selfishness

For those of us who have problems spelling stuff, sweet beloved Google has come to our rescue again with Google Suggest. It seems to be based on the notion that you're searching for what everybody else is searching for and therefore thier queries will satisfy your needs: Our algorithms use a wide range of information to predict the queries users are most likely to want to see. For example, Google Suggest uses data about the overall popularity of various searches to help rank the refinements it offers.

Technorati Tags: search, google

So someone bought me a pair of underwear for Christmas. It was a sweet kind, unexpected gesture and I was so confused when I was given them that all I could say was, "Thank you," and pretend to be pleased. The problem is: they're horrible and nothing I would ever, ever wear unless I were under threat of death for some convoluted reason and then only if I were permittd to remove the chain. But because they're underwear the store won't take them back or allow me to exchange them for something less aesthetically horrifying. Which irritates the crap out of me because that money is gone forever simply because some people are too stupid to think things out.

And so children, today's Season of Gift-Giving lesson is: if I can't take it back, please don't fucking give it to me.

So George W. Bush would be arriving in Ottawa around now, supposedly.

The newspaper was filled this morning with anti-protest rants. How I hate the Citizen and it's inconsistent editorial policies. The main thrust of the arguments appeared to be that it was "disrespectful" to protest anything to do with the United States in front of dear ol' Dub because he's been democratically elected and to do so would be "disrespectful" of the democratic choices of Americans. Which must be the weakest, lamest argument ever to keep your head down and your mouth shut. Hitler won two elections. And like Bush and his Republicans, he and the Nazi party got a higher percentage of the vote in his second term. But I don't think anyone would suggest that if Adolf were to show up in Ottawa, that we should be respectful, or even vaguely nice, lest we offend the Germans. Not that I'm comparing Bush to Hitler; Dubya, for all his shortcomings, at least has a decent fashion sense.

I was reading a book about Neandertals and the theoretical reasons for thier seeming extinction and came across the following sentence: "Students of [archeologist Francois] Bordes in France have shown that there do indeed appear to be cultural traditions persisting through time in geographically defined areas..."It goes on to theorize that Neandertal tribes managed to remain "culturally distinct for thousands of years, with nothing between them but, say, an easily fordable stretch of the Dordogne River." Conversely, the Cro-Magnon sites show more diversity of form and style, which seems to correlate with the fact that evidence indicates they were more mobile.

As we all know, the Neandertals are now extinct and the Cro-Magnons evolved. When people stop exchanging ideas and new ways of doing things, stagnation occurs and evolution stops. What does this mean? Nothing really, although it's interesting to note how often George W. Bush has been compared to a chimp. Perhaps some members of the human race aren't evolving as fast as the rest of us and refusing to share ideas and knowledge and points of view won't facilitate evolution and those who refuse to do so (like, um, the crazy Christian right) will render themselves extinct with thier refusal to grow. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. It's the new Social Darwinism.