An open love letter to Peter McKay
(Click here for the CBC interview with poor sweet Peter.)
Dearest Peter,
You looked pretty rough on the news last night. I know it's tough but you're just going to have to accept that some people are just like that. Some of us, like you and me Pete, get all emotionally involved and invested in other human beings and other people can just pick up and move on when the whim (and prevailing winds) suit them. These people are invariably fascinating and serve a useful purpose in life but you must never ever forget that, for these people, the greater good will always take precedence over thier own happiness (or other people's). I think you should find yourself a nice girl who hasn't got a greater good she feels she has to tend to. Some intelligent kind lovely woman who will muck out the barn when you are in Ottawa. Someone who won't distract you from the task at hand, namely: ridding the Conservative Party of that Blight, Stephen Harper.
Now listen, I know he's not a bad guy really, deep down and I bet he draws the funniest cartoons of Belinda on the back of Hansard during question period. But honestly, he's not helping the party any. Nobody likes him. He's simply not likeable. When he smiles, he looks as though he's having a painful bowel movement. It's just not on, Peter. It's time this country had a decent conservative party again but that can't happen until someone takes control. And there's nobody left but you to smite the rednecks and restore sanity and clarity to political conservatism in Canada.
I believe in you, Peter. You can do this. You've already proven how much better you are than that Blight by refusing to say anything negative about Belinda. All you have to do is lure him out onto Wellington Street and push him in front of one of those Hull buses (they're always going way too fast and won't even notice) and do as much damage as possible without actually killing him or doing any permanent damage (this might prove a little tricky but I know you'll figure something out), then, as deputy leader, you take over. Easy-peasy.
With unfaltering adoration,
fiona
Tagnorati: petermackay, stephenharper, blight, politics, conservatism
Dearest Peter,
You looked pretty rough on the news last night. I know it's tough but you're just going to have to accept that some people are just like that. Some of us, like you and me Pete, get all emotionally involved and invested in other human beings and other people can just pick up and move on when the whim (and prevailing winds) suit them. These people are invariably fascinating and serve a useful purpose in life but you must never ever forget that, for these people, the greater good will always take precedence over thier own happiness (or other people's). I think you should find yourself a nice girl who hasn't got a greater good she feels she has to tend to. Some intelligent kind lovely woman who will muck out the barn when you are in Ottawa. Someone who won't distract you from the task at hand, namely: ridding the Conservative Party of that Blight, Stephen Harper.
Now listen, I know he's not a bad guy really, deep down and I bet he draws the funniest cartoons of Belinda on the back of Hansard during question period. But honestly, he's not helping the party any. Nobody likes him. He's simply not likeable. When he smiles, he looks as though he's having a painful bowel movement. It's just not on, Peter. It's time this country had a decent conservative party again but that can't happen until someone takes control. And there's nobody left but you to smite the rednecks and restore sanity and clarity to political conservatism in Canada.
I believe in you, Peter. You can do this. You've already proven how much better you are than that Blight by refusing to say anything negative about Belinda. All you have to do is lure him out onto Wellington Street and push him in front of one of those Hull buses (they're always going way too fast and won't even notice) and do as much damage as possible without actually killing him or doing any permanent damage (this might prove a little tricky but I know you'll figure something out), then, as deputy leader, you take over. Easy-peasy.
With unfaltering adoration,
fiona
Tagnorati: petermackay, stephenharper, blight, politics, conservatism
fi - May 19, 15:58
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