fiona was here
wishing she had a clever tagline

Apparently, France agrees with me, sort of.

The latest news about Karla is her continued inability to discern the nice folks from those about to stab her in the back on her own. Part of me, frankly, is starting to feel a tiny bit sorry for her. I mean, it must be really awful to be that stupid. She seems to try so hard and still be completely insufficient somehow. Like with her French: she's clearly studied very hard to improve on the spotty education such matters warrant in Southern Ontario, but she sounds so like a Yankee the way she chews through her vowels that it's unbearable to listen to all her new found vocabulary anyway.
Tagnorati: homolka, karlahomolka, stupidity

While idly porn-surfing yesterday, I came across this (not safe for work). Apparently, smoking cigarettes now qualifies as fulfillment of a sexual fetish. Women are no longer smokers but nicotine-addicted sluts. Fabulous. I really need to quit.
Tagnorati: smoking, porn, ewww

I got over 200 hits yesterday from Technorati's Karla Homolka tag page. Invariably though, it was linking to the wrong entry (a post titled "feel free to tell me how clever I am," but no-one, of course, has because it makes me seem unspeakably obnoxious) and proved completely useless. In an attempt to remedy this, here are some links relating to the dead-eyed wannabe psychopath:

• Feedster search for "karla homolka"
• Maclean's story about little miss thing being holed up in her apartment
• Bernardo's continued insistence that Karla killed both girls, not him
• Tim Horton's attempts to distance itself from Karla and her cravings
• my previous posts about Karla

Tagnorati: homolka, karlahomolka, technorati, failure

Karla Homolka was let out this afternoon, apparently in a red van. And then she gave an interview with the SRC in Montreal (which you can download a subtitled version of by clicking here). So much for not wanting to be harassed by the media and needing protection from all those rabid journalists.

Anyway, the important thing and what I wanted to promulgate is this:

That's what she looks like now and is planning on residing in Montreal. If you see her, go up and talk to her. Don't be mean. Make a comment about how much the price of coffee has gone up in twelve years. Be polite and civil. Ask her about her day, about whether the media's giving her a hard time. Make sure you use her name. Use it repeatedly. Since we're not allowed to beat the shit out of her, the least we can do is fuck with her head.
Tagnorati: homolka, karlahomolka, stupidbitch

Everytime I start to get a whole bunch of search engine referrals for the same query, I discover I have mis-spelled something. Like dear sweet Peter's last name. I'm so ashamed of myself; that's not how a devoted admirer conducts herself.

And now some useful links for the rest of you who can't spell either:

• Google Canada search for "Peter MacKay"
• Google news search for "Peter MacKay"
• Peter's official web site
• what Peter said about medical marijuana

Tagnorati: petermackay, spelling

(Click here for the CBC interview with poor sweet Peter.)

Dearest Peter,

You looked pretty rough on the news last night. I know it's tough but you're just going to have to accept that some people are just like that. Some of us, like you and me Pete, get all emotionally involved and invested in other human beings and other people can just pick up and move on when the whim (and prevailing winds) suit them. These people are invariably fascinating and serve a useful purpose in life but you must never ever forget that, for these people, the greater good will always take precedence over thier own happiness (or other people's). I think you should find yourself a nice girl who hasn't got a greater good she feels she has to tend to. Some intelligent kind lovely woman who will muck out the barn when you are in Ottawa. Someone who won't distract you from the task at hand, namely: ridding the Conservative Party of that Blight, Stephen Harper.

Now listen, I know he's not a bad guy really, deep down and I bet he draws the funniest cartoons of Belinda on the back of Hansard during question period. But honestly, he's not helping the party any. Nobody likes him. He's simply not likeable. When he smiles, he looks as though he's having a painful bowel movement. It's just not on, Peter. It's time this country had a decent conservative party again but that can't happen until someone takes control. And there's nobody left but you to smite the rednecks and restore sanity and clarity to political conservatism in Canada.

I believe in you, Peter. You can do this. You've already proven how much better you are than that Blight by refusing to say anything negative about Belinda. All you have to do is lure him out onto Wellington Street and push him in front of one of those Hull buses (they're always going way too fast and won't even notice) and do as much damage as possible without actually killing him or doing any permanent damage (this might prove a little tricky but I know you'll figure something out), then, as deputy leader, you take over. Easy-peasy.

With unfaltering adoration,
fiona

Tagnorati: petermackay, stephenharper, blight, politics, conservatism

Dearest Belinda,

I've always secretly liked you but felt as though I couldn't admit it because my instincts must be wrong. I mean what could be likeable about a woman who would align herself with the Conservative Party of Canada in it's present incarnation? They're like a bunch of crazy rednecks. I have nothing against Stephen Harper personally, I just think he would be a dangerous man to have running this country, even if I weren't so creeped out by those beady eyes and that hair that never ever moves. It isn't that he wants it too much, it's that he seems to think he deserves it because he's a better person morally. As though we were deciding on a new church pastor. And then he had to make a comment about his impression of your intelligence level, because that's how an insecure man deals with a woman who he knows will go much much father than he ever will. And he knows you will, otherwise why would he keep talking about your ambition? It's like he's obsessed.

But when I saw the news today, I knew I had been right and there was something special about you, and that the whole Conservative thing was just a ruse to get a seat in Parliament. And very clever it was too.

So here's to you Belinda and your last minute attempt to save us from Stephen's stupid summer election. I hope the Liberals treat you well and show you the love you deserve and support your dreams of running the country and whatever other crazy notions you have.

Love,
fiona

tagnorati: belindastronach, stephenharper, politics, canada

Terri Schiavo's blog. I laughed, I'll confess, because it's funny as well as offensive.

technorati tags: schiavo, fauxblogs

Metafilter offers more speculation about the implications of Google paying Firefox folk (okay, one person) to do, ahem, Things.

On an unrelated note: is this on your list of regular reads, Katester?